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Mar. 23rd, 2016

omf i miss you so much

fucking talk to me i cant talk to you first!!

Mar. 22nd, 2016

if youre reading this

and hopefully you arent but i will write it like you are anyways..

if youre reading this i saw you today at the living room and i literally sensed your presence as soon as you walked in and im pretty sure i still love you. i at least still care so much about you on an emotional level that it makes me want to/cry every time i think about you too much or listen to the new tame impala album, haha. i still compare myself to you all of the time, specifically academically like i used to, almost like were still dating. when i get into new music i always imagine whether or not you would like it or i just in general imagine us listening to it in the car together. but part of me knows i also just miss you because i miss someone being so invested in me and just genuinely interested in me in general. i miss your insight into all aspects of my life, even if you didnt understand how my family works or how i took adderall recreationally all of the time you still tried to understand and always seemed genuinely interested in what i had to say. i really miss you and seeing you today, especially wearing the same clothes you used to wear and in a place we used to go to together a lot really struck something in me. either that or im hormonal right now. anyways, i know im forgetting the reasons we broke up which is stupid and im letting my emotions getting the better of me. i really like this year better than last year when concerning my college experience. i do definitely miss berkeley, but i dont miss leaving half the weekends of school and sacrificing a lot of friendships and academic opportunities to spend time with you (i know that sucks a lot). i know i was bad to you sometimes, but looking back on it, i was pretty good to you and i think i was just hard on myself because you could be manipulative. this sounds terrible, but sometimes when demir doesnt measure up to you, which has been happening a lot lately, i get really disappointed and have these deeply regretful feelings, because you always said you didnt know if you could date me again after i dated another guy. i feel like i made it pretty clear, though, that it was going to happen. youll think this sounds stupid, but you really do learn a lot about yourself through dating other people. if you get really close to a person you in general learn a lot more about what people are like, and im learning more and more that you and i are very different people. i wish you didnt think of me as the one, but i also dont want you to not think of me as your one. ahhh i dont know how to explain it. its like, i wish you didnt put me on a pedestal, but i also find it so incredible how dedicated you were to me, and im really afraid ill never be able to find someone like you again. in the back of my mind, i always imagine demir and i eventually breaking up and getting back together with you. but i think that has a lot to do with how comfortable i am with you and how attached to you i am. i really do think that you can be way too much for me, but the longer ive known demir, the more i think he isnt ENOUGH for me. i didnt realize how much i care about passion and the drivenness you have to succeed. demir has told me that something he doesnt like about me is how much i stress about school and how my whole life is school, and as he was saying that i was sitting there thinking ?????????? he doesnt know me. zac knew me in high school, zac knows my family, zac is from fucking san diego not oakland. demir doesnt know my life and its not his fault but it makes me feel like he doesnt understand me. i miss zac so much. god dammit.

-lol i know this was a letter to you but then i just started writing to myself :D
-btw i hate myself i wasnt supposed to miss you but you knew it would happen so you win i guess

Oct. 22nd, 2015


im meeting the greatest people this year and my housemates are so amazing im in love with all of them and everyone around me is just so much more like me and i feel so free and so college im so happy this year is actually 1000000x better than last year and last year was still a pretty good year! I'm finally hanging out with people i want to hang out with and hanging out with people that like the same music as i do. everything just worked out. its like this is what i was waiting for. i never want to leave santa cruz this year is so amazing i should just stay here all summer and never leave ever ever ever.

Sep. 17th, 2015

Cheap Cities in Europe

Budapest, Hungary
Český Krumlov, Czech Republic
PRague, Cx=zech Republic
Santorini, Greece
Valetta, Malta
Berlin, Germany
Nice, France
Munich, Germany
Florence, Italy
Vienna, Austria
Reykjavik, Iceland

Aug. 10th, 2015

Questions I want Answered

Does skin actually purge before it gets better with usage of BHA's, and Retina's?
Studying effects of sunscreens
Create extremely lightweight moisturizers that are very hydrating
Create remarkable facial hair growth products
Instant-gratification scar removal facial products

Aug. 2nd, 2015

Career Quizzes


Blue Interests include abstracting, theorizing, designing, writing, reflecting, and originating, which often lead to work in editing, teaching, composing, inventing, mediating, clergy, and writing.

People with blue styles prefer to perform their job responsibilities in a manner that is supportive and helpful to others with a minimum of confrontation. They prefer to work where they have time to think things through before acting. People with blue style tend to be insightful, reflective, selectively sociable, creative, thoughtful, emotional, imaginative, and sensitive. Usually they thrive in a cutting edge, informally paced, future-oriented environment. You will want to choose a work environment or career path in which your style is welcomed and produces results.

Jul. 18th, 2015

Summer Plan

If I get job, do job + go to PAC a lot. don't go on trip, feed buddy.

If i don't get job, volunteer + go to pac a lot, decide whether or not trip and buddy.

Jul. 16th, 2015

PAC classes i want to try

Pure Cardio
Bosu Blast
Serenity Mediation
*Hips, Hips, Hips
Dance Fusion
Pilates Mat
Cardio Strength
Body Blast
*Barre Fusion
*Groove Spin
Total Barre and Body
Cardio Pilates
*Tone & Stretch
*Barre Sculpt

Jul. 1st, 2015


1. Why Macy's?

Macy's has a long standing good reputation and is highly influential in the fashion and cosmetic industry. I love that Macy's is known for it's great customer service as well. Macy’s was the first retailer to promote a woman, Margaret Getchell, to an executive position. Has an old American History.

2. How would you sell a Macy's Credit Card?

Well, sometimes people are in a hurry when they are shopping, so I would be sure to tell them that it's a very quick process. They would get all of the discounts without having to present a coupon. It's very convenient to check the balance online whenever internet is available. Also, there is no need for a receipt when you return an item, no matter how long ago it was to purchase the item.

3. How to handle a coworker misbehaving?

First confront her, and if there are issues tell manager

4. Explain to me an example of when you were on a team, what was your role, and what was the outcome?

When I backpacked in Norway I had to carry either poles, tent, or tent cover, and pots and food, or else some of us wouldn't be able to eat, or have shelter.

5. Were you ever working in an area that was always constantly changing?

Volunteering for the rec-- I did something different everytime I came in. I never knew what to expect but i still loved it. They had me drive around town one day, and the next day just organize cabinets, the next day load firewood and hand out flyers. Always had to learn new things and where things were, etc.

6. Tell me how you would greet a customer and assist them.

Hi , How can I help you? Have you seen the new collection? Do you need help with the lipsticks? etc

7. How would you upscale something?

This would look great with this!

8. How would you celebrate a purchase?

That's going to look awesome on you, have a nice day!

Jun. 27th, 2015


Revisited. This time I'm thinking a little closer maybe?

1. Macy's
2. Sbicca
3. CPK
4. Peet's Coffee
5. Starbucks
6. Marriott Hostessing
7. Banana Republic

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